Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
