Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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