im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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