Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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