What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
