definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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