...so i touched it.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
