I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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