It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
