but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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