found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
