He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
where am i from again
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
