whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
