I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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