i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
