I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
