I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
