If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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