So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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