Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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