people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
