they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
