I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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