There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
