we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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