Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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