Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
