Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
