im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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