Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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