I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
