How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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