wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Boobs are out for the taking
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize