They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
