wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
