The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
