The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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