If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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