I want to stick my p in your. b.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
