thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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