well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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