last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
