this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
