The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
