after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
