Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
