why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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