Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
