So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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