Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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