he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
