I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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