Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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