I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
